Hypermasculinity and Toxic relationships in Fight For My Way — K-Drama Analysis
Fight for my way was broadcasted back in 2017. The Korean comedy-drama tells a story of four friends, who are not exactly where they had hoped they would be in life. The show consists of all characters overcoming obstacles, by themselves and with each other to then eventually rejoin and live “happily ever after”.
The show ooses comedy, however in this discussion I won’t be talking about that aspect of the show. Instead, I will be breaking down the characters and talking about the hypermasculinity, toxic relationships, and behaviours that occur in the show.
To contextualise, let’s discuss hypermasculinity. What is it? By definition, hypermasculinity is a psychological term for the exaggeration of male stereotypical behavior, such as an emphasis on physical strength, aggression, and sexuality.
“Scholars have suggested that there are three distinct characteristics associated with the hypermasculine personality: (1) the view of violence as manly, (2) the perception of danger as exciting and sensational, and (3) callous behavior toward women and a regard toward emotional displays as feminine.” (source: https://www.britannica.com/topic/hypermasculinity)
It was amusing when searching hypermasculinity in Google, as I was met with pictures of large muscled men in fighting rings. Men of which parallel with Dong-man in Fight For My Way.
(I am not saying that being a cage fighter is overtly wrong, these are common images of men that are being associated with hypermasculinity.)
Relationship Dynamics and Character Evaluations
Ae-ra and Dong-man
Dong-man is reminiscent of your average guy, he reminded me of many men I have met in my life. A conventional masculine “sporty guy” or “the jock” who is hard on the outside but is “soft” and “sensitive” on the inside. In the first half of this show, Dong-man displays no toxic traits towards Ae-ra. The two had a charming and loving friendship, and the audience finds themselves rooting for them to get together, but when they eventually do; this is when things turn sour, and Dong-man begins to display possessiveness towards Ae-ra. Let’s discuss a couple of examples:
The Skirt.
Over Dong-man’s and Ae-ra’s 20 year friendship, Dong-man never seemed to have an issue with Ae-ra’s clothing. In the first half of the show, Ae-ra wears a skirt many times. However, when Dong-man deems Ae-ra to belong to him. He suddenly has an issue with her wearing a skirt. This leads to an uncomfortable scene where he shouts at her for what she is wearing. The scene is portrayed as a comical moment, he now sees her as this attractive girlfriend, rather than just a friend and this has resulted in him being taken back by her feminity. However, the message of this carries a darker meaning. It is ironic how Ae-ra made this change for him, however, Dong-man was never lenient or was able to compromise when Ae-ra expressed her concerns about his boxing, he would say “this is what I want to do”. While I agree, Dong-man should be able to what he likes. He does not give the same energy to Ae-ra, and Ae-ra began acting like a mother, instead of a partner, and the once charming relationship between them had faded.
When looking at the comments of a YouTube video of this scene. Many viewers express their discomfort with this, but shrug it off as the actor playing the role is Park Seo-Joon. The only people who did not have an issue with it were other men.
“Boys will be Boys”
When Joo-man sleeps at another woman’s house, his long term girlfriend Seol-hee breaks up with him. When Dong-man and Ae-ra discuss this privately he begins to make excuses for his friend. However, when Ae-ra gave a scenario where it was her that had slept at another man’s house. Dong-man’s body language changes, his voice heightened and he displays his overbearing emotion about how she would not do that to him. It reinforces the societal double standard we have when we look at men and women. It was okay for Joo-man to do this, but a woman would be shamed. When the action either way is wrong. Seol-hee stood her ground with Joo-man and made him reflect on his actions, but I will be discussing that further in detail.
Joo-man and Seol-hee
I cannot express the disappointment I felt when the show ended with Joo-man and Seol-hee re-joining hands and getting back together.
The whole storyline between these two characters is to show the distance that Joo-man feels towards Seol-hee, a woman who is comfortable in her relationship. Meanwhile, Joo-man feels as though he needs a promotion, which ultimately means he pushes Seol-hee away.
This is because Joo-man wants to be a provider for Seol-hee, despite her efforts to assure him that she does not care about being provided for. We discover through flashbacks Seol-hee was once a young and dependant woman who was nervous and relied on Joo-man for help. Once she was no longer this way, he was swayed and distracted by the innocence and dependence of another younger woman. This led him to make bad decisions and for Seol-hee to find her own way.
This was good for the relationship as Seol-hee found interests of her own and she ended up quitting her job and starting her own business. Hoping it would end at this, they do, unfortunately, eventually, get back together. I was disappointed as I found Joo-man to be a problematic and toxic partner.
The Victim Blaming
Where this was most obvious was when the audience is met with a flashback before Seol-hee and Joo-man’s relationship began. In one scene placed at a work gathering Seol-hee leaves to go outside, she is then followed by a co-worker who sexually harasses her. Joo-man comes to her defense, and when the predator has gone. Instead of comforting her, Joo-man shouts at a crying, disturbed Seol-hee. Blaming what she wears for the treatment she received. This is played off when she admitted she dressed this way to grab Joo-man’s attention, he then aggressively kisses her.
This was uncomfortable and distressing to watch, I saw the parallels with Dong-man’s skirt “kick-off”. The clear parallel of both the male characters here is body-shaming women to seem romantic, surprisingly it didn’t cause me to fall head over heels for these male characters. Instead, it made me want to furiously shout at the screen, telling the women they could do better.
The men’s actions of this show were shrugged off as if it was not a problem. For example; Kyung-goo, an ex-friend of Ae-ra and Dong-man manipulates Ae-ra’s friends into hating her, his attempt to isolate her so she falls for him doesn’t work and she ends their friendship. However, Dong-man does maintain his friendship with him, despite knowing what he did. Kyung-goo tries to explain his redemption to Dong-man, (not sure why Dong-man needed an explanation). His proof of change is “I have a daughter now”.
Was Kyung-goo unaware it was weird to stalk and isolate women before he had a girl of his own? This dialogue I interpreted as a huge reflection on society in general. Women are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s mother. Not just a woman, it is quite a stupid reason to justify such actions.
All the male characters in this show follow the hypermasculine pattern of behaviour, as shown in these examples above.
As I previously stated, Fight for My Way had some comical moments. At times I found myself rooting for the characters, especially in the first half of the show. The second half, however, was when the downwards spiral of excruciating romanticised toxicity and masculinity occurred. Therefore, unfortunately for me, Fight for My Way was not the enticing, fun show I anticipated it to be.
(This is the first time I have written publicly about a topic instead of a brief explanation of the drama. If you like this, please give it a like and I can put similar content out in the future.)
